What About Signs of Domestic Violence?

People generally think domestic violence is connected with the word “domestic” implying home. When “domestic” is accompanied by the word “violence” perhaps the suggestion is that domestic violence is violence directed by any family member toward another.  Actually, that makes it “family violence” not “domestic violence”.  Professionals would define domestic violence more accurately as “intimate partner violence or spousal abuse”.  The Apostle Paul would say that “the acts of the sinful nature are obvious… hatred, discord, jealousy, and fits of rage and envy;” (Galatians 5:19-20)

Statistically, far more women than men in marriage and dating relationships are victims of severe injury, homicide, and sexual assault.  However, domestic violence is not merely referring to the use of physical force. There are the issues of abuse of power involved in domestic violence, as well as the cultural devaluation and sexual objectification of women and girls in general. Perhaps, a reasonable place to start would be to consider abuse or violence of spouses or dating couples in the context of offenses against health, safety, and respect of the victim. Of course, the witnesses to these abuses, such as, children are deeply affected. 

Men are considered the primary perpetrators of domestic abuse through medical and criminal violence research.   Well meaning men can be and are abusive and violent toward their partners or spouses; yet, not all well meaning men are perpetrators of violence or abuse.  You as an outside observer or bystander may not notice the signs of abuse by a well meaning man because of his stature or importance.   However, the sinful nature in anyone can erupt into abuse.

Signs of abuse are not always obvious. Some of the subtle warnings can be noticed during the interactions of a couple.   Think about yourself, how would you feel if during general conversations with others your spouse consistently spoke for you or frequently interrupted your responses? How would you feel as the recipient of continued intimidating stares and looks?   How would you feel if you were constantly berated as a spouse or woman?  How would you feel if your spouse routinely and menacingly pointed his finger in your face during disagreements?

There are more glaring signs. Unwanted and harsh contact such as pushing, pulling and grabbing on the arm of one’s spouse could be signs for concern. When a woman uncharacteristically wears long sleeves in the summer she may be covering bruises on her arms. If she uncharacteristically wears dark glasses indoors – as in a church service – she may have been struck near the eye(s) by her spouse or boyfriend. The explanation that she fell and bumped her head may not be true and could be a sign of domestic violence. There certainly may be other signs.

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